System Failure
“The Eclipser Series has undergone its 09.05.1999 update to better serve its patients. Would you like to hear more information about the changes to our system? Or proceed to the evaluation?”
“It really never gets easier, does it?” Xena said, exasperating. She started looking around, “And it’s the same room from before…the only one with the window…lucky me.” Aside from herself, the room was stark white and empty–give or take a few pieces of medical equipment. Every time she made an appointment, she thought about how this is what meeting God must be like: You walk into an empty, white space, unable to distinguish between clouds and smoke, and the only sound you hear is His voice coming from every direction–filling you with anxiety because you don’t know where He is. Xena focused her gaze on her knee watching it bounce up and down. She needed something to distract from the beads of sweat crawling across her forehead. She started finding five things to point out: The window, of course, the medical cart in front of it, the operating table, the medicine cabinet. She was trying to avert her gaze from the blue door. The sound of the heavy, steel panels opening started making her sick. All she needed was her god damn pills. Xena started taking deep breaths–
Would you like me to repeat the question?”
She jumped, “No!...I mean, proceed to the evaluation…please.”
“...The Eclipser G.M.P. Test is a multistage health diagnosis that will ask a series of questions to determine a solution for your pain. The test will begin in 20 seconds. The questions come in an effort to better understand the proper treatment and/or medication needed for your diagnosis. There are three stages. Each–
“Wait, three stages?” Xena thought out loud. “Since when?!…I thought there were only two? What’s this second part of the test?”
“…The second part of the test, also known as Stage Two, is called DTQ-9. This is an additional questionnaire added as part of our 09.05.1999 update. The test was designed to explore the causes, effects, and solutions for patients diagnosed with depression. For more information about the changes to our system, answer “Yes or No,” if you would like to take a moment to hear about the 09.05.1999 update.”
“No. Thank you,” Xena said reluctantly, “Proceed to the evaluation.” Whatever it was, she would find out later during Stage Two she guessed. Besides, she didn’t want to spend any more time with The Eclipser than she wanted to.
“...The Eclipser G.M.P. Test is a multistage health diagnosis that will ask a series of questions to determine a solution for your pain. The test will begin in 20 seconds. The questions come in an effort to better understand the proper treatment and/or medication needed for your diagnosis. There are three stages. Each completed stage will result in a signal – or beep. That’s nine questions completed each time you hear this sound…”
Xena left her body at the dial tone. Why and who in their right mind would choose that noise was beyond her. A dead call. It’s the same sound they use to ring the A-E-P’s. Though, those are only for special cases. After all, she would know. It took a month for those bruises to heal. It was the dead of the summer and she was wearing turtle neck long sleeves and jeans to cover just about everything from her shoulders and arms and wrists to her legs and ankles…
“Are you ready to begin?”
“...Yes.”
“...Stage One. PMHQ-9. The first part of the test uses our VADA tracking tool, customized around your medical and family history to fit your personal needs. Based on your previous testings, you have been diagnosed with depression and suicidal behavior, as well as a family history of depression and suicidal behavior? Is this correct?
Xena thought back to when she found out her mother died, and the relief she felt immediately after. Though, that quickly dissipated when she thought about how she too could have the same fate. She remembers those long nights–filled with anxiety and dread–constantly worrying about what her mom was going to do. Xena didn’t want to put anyone she ever loved through that torture. That’s why she made that appointment in the first place…
“...Yes,” She said.
“...As a solution for your previous diagnoses our system offered you a 6-month stay at the WoodCove Academy? Is this correct?”
“Offered a 6-month stay.” Xena laughed the moment she heard it. As if it was some sort of vacation.
“Yes,” she responded.
“...And at WoodCove Academy you were prescribed Sofstra1 as part of your treatment?
“We’ll start with a small dose of the Sofstra. Anything higher might put you at risk for developing an addiction.” Xena watched as Dr. Fiedlestein filled the paper cup with water. As he walked over to her he started shaking out the small pink pills and placed one in the middle of her palm. “Softra will help you relax so you don’t get so worked up talking about your mom…but you might notice some other side effects like feeling a little sleepy? In some cases euphoria and speaking a little slower than usual, so let me know if you start feeling weird or uncomfortable.”
“Yes,” she responded to The Eclipser.
“...Okay. Stage 1 will now begin. Please answer to the best of your ability. I will ask you nine questions and you will rate them on a scale of one to three. All questions will be in reference to the last 6 months prior to today’s appointment. Would you like me to repeat the instructions or proceed to the questions?
“Proceed.”
“...Question One: Have you had little interest or pleasure in doing things?
“One.”
“...Question Two: Have you been feeling down, depressed or hopeless?
“Two.”
“...Question Three: Have you had trouble falling or staying asleep, or sleeping too much?”
It was Dr. Fiedlestein who answered her cry for help in her sleep. She awoke that night cradled in his arms in a pool of sweat. “How long has this been happening?” He asked. Xena remembered the panic on his face when he said it; it had an undertow of genuine concern. After that night, he made her write in her mirror everyday “It’s Not Real.” A little trick he said, to help her in her dreams the moment she picks up the shard and sees her reflection. After she left the Academy she tried the technique at home but the dreams started getting worse…
“...Three,” Xena said to The Eclipser.
“…Question Four: Have you been feeling tired or having little energy?”
“Three.”
“…Question Five: Have you had a poor appetite or are overeating?”
“One.”
”...Question Six: Have you been feeling bad about yourself–or that you are a failure or have let yourself or your family down?
“How am I supposed to go on Dr. Fiedlestein? It just never goes away! And I don’t know how to just–to just live with it! I thought I had so much time left with her–to tell her what I really wanted to say–and now I can’t. At all.”
Xena remembered how dirty those floors were pacing around the room.
“One day someone is there and the next day they’re not and it just sucks because it’s such a small part of my life now, and I’m trying so hard to hold on to what I remember about her. But you know the worst part? All I can think about is what I could've done and what could've been different, and I think you know, ‘Maybe if I did this?’ Would she still be, what? Still here? Maybe if I had just picked up the phone one more time–”
“You can’t let it wash over you,” Dr. Fiedlestein said as he was shushing her. “This was not your doing Xena, and knowing that comes first.”
“One.” Xena said sternly to The Eclipser.
“Question Seven: Have you had trouble concentrating on things, such as reading the newspaper or watching television?
“You know, daydreaming is nice because you have more control versus at night, but do it too much Xena, and you’ll stay asleep forever.” Dr. Fiedlestein chuckled. “Just a little tale my grandmother would say. Now, tell me, where did you go?... Or should I say who did you go to?”
Once in a while Xena would have moments that her mom really wasn’t there. In the beginning, it would happen anywhere. She could be walking in a store and her eyes would just start watering—bringing her back to that moment. These days, it was a rare sight Xena would find herself going back to that day. It was always so unnatural and uncomfortable to relive because it was never from her point of view, rather, someone else looking at her instead–watching it all play out. Was it her? Regardless, the feelings were all the same: Shock, anger, sadness, regret, and then guilt. All in that order.
“One.”
“...Question Eight: Have you been moving or speaking so slowly that other people could have noticed? Or the opposite–being so fidgety or restless that you have been moving around a lot more than usual?”
“One.”
“…Now to the final question. Question Nine: Have you had thoughts that you are better off dead or of hurting yourself?”
“…Careful, careful.” Xena whispered under her breath. She started adjusting herself in her seat, fixing her collar as her skin started to swell with heat. Six months ago she made that mistake. Even if that question was true (it is), even if she was thinking about it (she was), she couldn’t risk the A-E-P’s coming out. Xena kept still, her eyes slowly peering at the blue door, hoping it wouldn’t open. She could hear their marches, the ray from their beams combing through the room trying to hunt her down. Xena winced at the nudge of the medical cart moving from the wind. The wheel scraping against the linoleum brought her back to the moment they plucked her from out under the table. Like a still fish in water. Xena remembered running cold at their touch–choking to breathe–trying to mutter a single noise. It wasn’t until later at WoodCove that she learned they were designed to adapt to resistance. A girl there said the more you struggle, the better they adjust to your strength to take you in.
“One.” Xena said smiling.
“...Please wait 1 minute while we compile this new information into our system. The update to your patient profile will be completed in t-minus 0:59 seconds…”
Xena’s smile quickly left her face as she braced for the incoming dial tone. She covered her ears well before the countdown was even up.
“...Stage One is now complete…Stage Two. DTQ-9…”
Xena looked up as she dropped her arms from her head, “So what’s with this new update?” She wondered.
“...This second part of the test is a new tool as part of the 09.05.1999 update. Please listen closely:
…The test is designed to explore the causes, effects, and solutions to your depression through a simulation-style therapy. The Eclisper has been upgraded with a new feature to sync with a human-oid tool called D.A.N. Here, you can scroll through a number of avatars to select a figure that you feel most comfortable with. They will then ask you a series of questions based on our new partnership with WoodCove Academy. Our new shared data bank allows us to look into your patient profile from your stay at the Academy to create an all-in-one personalized customer experience to improve our efficiency, transparency, all while protecting the private information of our customers. Our team not only believes this will make our customers feel more safe in their visits here at WellSprings, but also believes this will help curb the number of incidents involving the involuntary institution of some of our patients. On behalf of our team here at WellSprings, we apologize for this negligent malfunction and our gross miscalculation of our systems. For more information about the changes to our system, answer “Yes or No,” if you would like to take a moment to hear about the 09.05.1999 update.”
“Privacy and personalization in the name of transparency and efficiency.” Xena sat there for a good minute combing over those words–a stray phrase catching her attention every now and then until she pieced together what she just heard. Behind every question she had was another one, much deeper than she felt The Eclipser could ever understand. What she really wanted to say was, “How is any of this allowed? Followed by, “How did we get here?” Could it really hear what she was saying as she was withdrawing? The bite in her voice when she said “We?” Xena stifled a laugh. She knew she would only get a scripted answer anyway. Six months she spent at the Academy, and it makes sense now why it was so rundown. It was full. Though “rundown” was her being generous. Resources were rationed and so was their time with the very few doctors and nurses on staff. The therapists and psychiatrists were often too worn out to keep up with the influx of patients. Every room was at capacity, every facility was filthy, and Xena was living in survival mode ever since that fatal appointment.
“Would you like me to repeat the question?”
“No...” She said with anger, “I don’t wanna hear about the update...”
“…We would also like to inform victims of the incidents that they are entitled to compensation following this appointment. Please wait for those instructions as we are too far into the diagnostic testing to halt operations. Please be patient as we finish out our testing. Are you ready to proceed to Phase Two?”
Xena wondered if The Eclipser would say yes if she asked to skip the phase. Her therapy sessions back at the Academy were nothing but short-lived and Xena didn’t want to feel like she was being baited like a fish over and over and over again. Every day she would count down the moments until her next session, only to barely scratch the surface of her depression. It was merely seconds with Dr. Fiedlestein, and though it was the only part of the day she looked forward to, it was the first part of her day, and the days were long. But Dr. Fiedlestien was so kind and patient and understanding, even when she knew some days he wouldn’t leave until two in the morning, and she wanted that back…but it couldn’t hurt to ask, she thought.
“Please skip Phase Two and move to Phase Three. I just need a refill of my medication…the Sofstra?” She asked, hoping.
“...I’m sorry we are unable to complete your request. We are too far into the diagnostics testing to provide you a solution for treatment and medication at this time. Please be patient as we finish out our testing.”
“Worth a shot,” she said, rolling her eyes, “Proceed to Phase Two then.”
“...Okay, Stage Two will now begin. In the next 25 seconds, our system will project a real-time hologram for you to scroll through a series of avatars to better suit your experience. Our system uses a 360° motion-tracking tool, so a simple swipe of your hand to your left, will move you to the next avatar. After you have made your selection, our human-oid tool D.A.N. will sync up with that avatar’s pre-setting and will enter out of the red door to your right. Are you ready to proceed?
“Yes,” Xena said.
Though she was hesitant, Xena couldn’t deny she was a little curious to see how this would all play out. She started scrolling through the selection of the avatars. The first, a woman with the name “Tara.” She had a petite silhouette under her shroud of black fabric. She had long, brown hair, and thick, black frames that complimented her Ashley piercing. Xena thought she would be cool, but she wanted to continue exploring. “Paul,” she thought, looked cool too. Xena almost felt like he was Home. He was a much older gentleman, though with few wrinkles, and had nice, tan skin. He sported cowboy boots, Wrangler jeans, and a long sleeve plaid button-up. “Paul” was two of fifteen, followed by “Luka,” who Xena thought looked like an American student trying too hard to fit in abroad in Italy. Then there was “Emily,” who was rather plain, and “Candice,” who seemed too “preppy mean girl turned nurse” for Xena’s liking. She kept scrolling until she stopped on the figure called “Mark.” For a brief moment, Xena felt as though Dr. Fiedlestein appeared straight from thin air, or at least the 30-year-old version of him…if she knew him back then. “Mark” had a mop of hair and it was the first thing Xena noticed. It was dark brown to match his thick eyebrows and he was lean, tall, and muscular, and gave Xena a sort of “surfer” vibe. She imagined Mark/Dr. Fiedlestein was a carefree guy back in his day—with big dreams, but not enough ambition yet to follow through. He wasn’t a leader, yet, but he was never a follower. A strange interest stirred over Xena as she selected “Mark.”
“…You have selected “Mark” to lead your session. Is this correct?”
“Yes.”
“...Please wait t-minus 30 seconds for our D.A.N. tool to sync-up with “Mark’s” pre-setting.”
Xena was surprised to hear Bobby Darin’s “Beyond The Sea” playing to keep her company. She couldn’t decide if she thought it was a nice touch or some sick joke. The music came to a halt when the blue doors started opening. A pit of black shadows started slowly pouring from the hallway. Xena heard his footsteps first, then she saw his clothes. They were different from what he was wearing in the selection menu. Here, he was dressed in tan slacks, a white button-down with sleeves tucked into the elbows, and a pair of brown loafers.
“Xena Matthews. It’s a pleasure to meet you. My name is “Mark,” he said smiling.
Immediately Xena felt he was so human, so unreal, and she just wanted to reach out and touch him.
“Pretty neat, huh? Our 09.05.1999 update has been in the works for 10 years now. It’s going to be revolutionary for the global health industry and I’m grateful to be a part of it.”
“You’re grateful?” Xena scoffed, “You?”
“You’d be surprised at how far our advancements have come. I have feelings too you know,” he said with a sincere look. Xena watched as he palmed his chest and started laughing at her confused gaze. “Mark” started walking over to the chair. A part of Xena started feeling guilty when she stepped back as he walked over, but he never dropped his gaze either. Not once. She started smiling out of nervousness and dare she say, fear? It was frustrating to see him walk so naturally, like any normal man would, and then sit down so comfortably as to relieve his exo-skeleton. What really threw her off though, was “Mark’s” ability to exude a kindness that was almost intimidating. His voice was calm and relaxed and he wasn’t stiff or uncomfortable like she thought a robot would be. Xena was unexpectedly surprised, but that fear inside of her still lingered.
“Come. Sit. Please. You’re making me nervous…and a little uncomfortable,” he chuckled.
Xena didn’t know if she should laugh or not, so she panicked, and let out a nervous giggle.
“It’s a joke, Xena.” She watched as his face turned cross. “Look–let’s just try and loosen up, relax, ease some of this tension I’m sensing? Why don’t we start with you asking me the questions, huh? Anything you want to know about me. Besides, I never get to really talk about myself, you know?”
By default, “Mark” was equipped with a gentleness in his demeanor. He wasn’t like The Eclipser, who was arguably a little pushy and blunt.
“How is this all supposed to work?” She stammered.
“Well, I had a peek at your file back at the Academy, and I know you had a lot to say concerning your mother? Is that right?”
Xena felt her stomach tighten.
“It’s all of course,” he pleaded, “On the conditions that you want to talk about her. We can also talk about your admittance to the Academy. I know that was…difficult… to say the least.”
Xena smirked, “Difficult is the understatement of the year “Mark.” Look, I don’t want to talk about what happened back then. Okay? It happened. It’s over. It’s whatever, and there’s what–some sort of compensation after this? Fine. I’m just here to refill my prescription. At the Academy they told me I had to do this post-discharge appointment and then they said I could get my medication. I just need the Sofstra.”
“The sedative slash hallucinogen right?” “Mark” raised his eyebrow. Xena watched as he walked around the room. “Xena you do know that medication has a high risk for addiction in patients?”
“Please Dr. Fiedlestein, the dreams are getting worse. I just want to up the dose just a little bit, and I think I'll be good. I promise.”
Xena remembers as she watched Dr. Fiedlstein’s face drop into disappointment. He never upped her dose as much as she begged and pleaded, instead, he tried helping her ween off it before she was discharged from the Academy. Sofstra isn’t exactly an over the counter medicine, and getting it can only be done after being signed off by a doctor. Xena had no choice but to make this appointment.
“Mark” stood there watching Xena. He was entranced by her expression–so deep in her thoughts it’s like he wasn’t even around.
“...Listen,” he said as he motioned to grab her attention again, “This session is only 45 minutes and it’s designed for you, to have a safe space you feel most comfortable to talk in. And at the end of the day,” “Mark” said smiling, “It’s the job I was created to do. I’m just here as part of your testing. Once that’s done, we can talk about getting you the Sofstra and I’m outta’ here. You won’t ever have to see me again. I promise.”
Xena took a deep breath, “Okay. Fine.”
“Okay? Good!” He said with a thumbs up. “Awesome! Right, so the last session you had with Dr. Fiedlestein, you talked about the day you found out your mother passed. He didn’t have a lot of notes to pass on from that day, so I’d like to pick up where he left off. So, if you’re comfortable, can you tell me more about what happened that day?”
“Right…” Xena started stirring, “Yeah…um, we didn’t have much time to get into the nitty-gritty details…I just wanted some advice on how to cope with it all.”
Xena waited for “Mark” to respond, but he just sat there waiting for more, wanting to hear what she had to say next.
“...I just don't think I ever processed it and grieved like I should've… you know? It was all rushed and I didn’t have time to feel anything and I think that’s why I still struggle with her death.”
Xena felt a panic inside of her. She really didn’t want to start from square one again, but she hoped that if “Mark” saw how difficult it was for her to talk about this, he’d be more inclined to prescribe her the Sofstra. Xena started fidgeting with her hands and breathing in squares to keep her focus.
“Why do you feel like it was rushed?”
“Well, I didn’t exactly have the time to grieve,” Xena started raising her voice, “I was fighting for my life at WoodCove remember? The place“your system” forced me to go?!”
“...Right… I’m so sorry Xena,” “Mark” said, straightening his back. His face quickly turned to worry and he started rambling to save face. It’s almost like it has genuine concern, Xena thought.
“This is why our recent update is so important,” “Mark” said with a hurry in his voice, “We just want to make things right. Make things better for our patients…especially for people like you, who had to endure what was probably the most horrific, if not, highly traumatizing experience of your life.”
“Again, understatement of the year.” She scoffed.
“...Right. Again, your mother, sorry! “Mark” dropped his head. “Let’s um–can we start over? A clean slate?” He said waving an imaginary flag in his hand. “Don’t worry! The clock is still ticking. You still have 40-ish minutes counting down. Just start by taking me back to that moment you found out. How did you feel when it happened?”
Xena sat there and just stared at him. She couldn’t bring herself to talk, to share, to reminisce, anything. She had no strength to dig deeper into her feelings. All she felt right now was this overwhelming anxiety, and though she thought she knew the source of its power, something else was diverting her from her initial gut reaction.
“I don’t know how to say this, Xena.” “Mark” said, grabbing her attention again, “I just want to know what it was like, I mean being an automated tool and all?” He said laughing. “I want to understand and I want to…empathize…because I can now. Our new system has the ability to change how people see automated robots as more than just a tool but something else you can trust…like you would a pet. To like, love, and create a relationship with. And with our medical skills, we can be more of a service to the human race. I mean, imagine not ever having to make an appointment again? Having a personal doctor who knows you best? That’s the future Xena!” Mark said, his eyes widening as he smiled.”And if we want to be a part of history, to let people know that this ‘Hey! This works!’I need your help too.”
Xena closed her eyes and tried to ground herself. “...I just remember thinking, like, ‘How?’ Like this had to be a freak accident. My mom wouldn't just die. It was just so confusing at the time. Mentally I was so lost, but my body… was just there. I was in shock.”
“Explain to me more about this ‘My body was just there.’ I’m not fully grasping what that means?” “Mark” asked. Xena felt like she saw a weight leave his shoulders—like he got through to her and in some way, while he did, Xena didn’t want to give him that satisfaction just yet.
“I didn’t expect you to,” Xena replied, a deadpan smile creeping across her face. “I just didn’t care about how I felt, you know? When they tell you those words–that your mom just died–your heart just sinks to the bottom of your stomach and your body physically reacts. You’re paralyzed. There’s a lump in your throat, you feel like drowning, and you're just outside of your body watching everyone console you and you have no idea what's going on.”
“...I see.”
Xena watched as “Mark” sat still in silence, pondering. For the most part, it was a pretty damn good performance. For a robot, at least.
“...And you didn’t have anyone to talk to at the time? Your father? Brother? Sister? No one came to talk to you?”
“I mean…at her funeral, some of our distant relatives came in. But it wasn’t like this–like us talking right now. If anything it just sucked. Everybody was walking on eggshells around me, and that’s why I hate telling people that she died because it’s awkward. And then you have to console them and tell them it’s okay even though you don’t feel okay, and you just get tired of hearing I'm sorry all the time. It’s exhausting. And even though my dad was there, him and my mom are estranged, to say the least… have been for years now. I only have one brother and my dad took him when my mom started getting bad.”
“What do you mean by ‘Bad’?”
“Drinking. Coming home late in the morning. Just putting herself in dangerous situations.”
“What kinds of situations?” “Mark” said, leaning forward.
“Situations to get herself killed,” Xena said, sighing.
“... And why would she do that?” “Mark” said with a sudden worry, “I don’t understand?”
“Because she wanted to die, “Mark.””Xena replied.
“…Is that how she died? She killed herself?” “Mark” sat with those words. “...Why do you think she would do that?” He asked.
Weirdly that question took Xena by surprise. She started to get flustered thinking about her mother again. What was going through her head at the time and what happened that made her snap to the point she would commit such an act.
“I don’t know,” she stammered, “I’ve been trying to figure that out since I found out.”
“...I see. Well, thank you. For informing me.” Xena watched as “Mark” opened his mouth. “...I want to try and talk about your admittance to the Academy… I know—”
“No.” Xena said sternly to “Mark.” “You don’t know anything.”
“I know you tried to hurt yourself when the A-E-P’s came out.” Mark said sternly.
Xena just stood there. She didn’t say anything, though, when she thought about it, she didn’t think she could. She felt her cheeks growing hot and she started turning red.
“I know, Xena. It was all documented and I think it’s important you talk about it… considering your mother’s–”
“My mother’s what?” She yelled. “Her history of mental illness?! Well I’m not like her okay?! I thought I was going to die! There was no other solution being offered, no one came to help, and you know–I wish–I wish I did do it! I’d rather that than be dragged by my arms and stuck in that horrible place. For 6 months! Do you have any idea what that was like?! No. You don’t. So just cut the crap and give me what I asked for. My Sofstra.” At that point, Xena wasn’t in the mood for negotiation. She never asked for a lifeless conversation with a piece of metal that was only using her to learn information and adapt. She just wanted to get her medicine and go home.
“...I see… Thank you, Xena.” She watched as “Mark” dropped his head. Inside she was cursing at him at the audacity of his whole act.
“Well… it does appear that our time is up. Stage Two is now complete. The update to your patient profile will be completed soon,” “Mark” said. “We’ll begin the final part of your testing in just a few moments. Please allow me to reconnect with our system before we proceed to Stage 3 for your treatment and medication.”
“Thank you.” Xena said with a sigh of relief, “Finally that’s all—”
Xena jumped when “Mark’s” body went stiff and his eyes started turning blue. The Eclisper had turned on “Under the Sea” again as Xena watched the pixels in “Mark’s” eyes sparkle like diamonds while he calibrated. It was a disturbing scene but Xena couldn’t look away.
“Please wait t-minus 1-minute as we finish updating your patient profile,” The Eclisper announced. “Your appointment will be completed with “Mark” once we finish synchronizing with his system.”
Xena stood back when “Mark” started coming back into focus. The music stopped and all she could hear were the sounds of the pixels running through his body–each of his limbs starting to wake up one-by-one again. And then the sound of the dial tone began ringing. Xena cupped her ears, drowning out The Eclisper’s announcement. She collapsed to the floor, dry-heaving and panicking and curling herself into a ball. Xena started crying and weeping before crawling and clawing at the floor to find shelter under the table.
“Thank you for your patience Xena.” Mark said smiling. His face suddenly dropped as he heard her cries. He started looking around to find her, only to rush at her side when he saw her under the table. “Mark” tried to approach Xena gently, trying to grab her arm for an embrace, but she started kicking and screaming more. He tried shushing her and telling her it was going to be okay but quickly stood up and backed out of her way to give her space. He could only feel her distress filling the room as she crawled out from under the desk, and then he noticed her face was wet, her clothes were disheveled, and there was a look of fear in her eyes. “Mark” gave Xena a moment before he hesitated to speak up, “Xena. I need you to listen very carefully to what I have to say. I beg you to please understand and know that all I want is for the best for you…But based on the results of your testing, and your current state now, I’m requesting the immediate reinstatement of another 6 month stay at Wood—”
“No, no please I can not go back there, no, LOOK!” Xena screamed.
“Mark” watched the panic stirring from Xena’s chest. She started breathing heavily again trying to calm herself down. He could hear her small whimpers as she choked to keep tears back.
“Mark.” Okay? Can you–I just came here to refill my prescription. The Sofstra? Yeah, I just–I’m requesting a refill. Please. Now.”
“Mark” started to feel guilt. He knew Xena was exhibiting symptoms of P-T-S-D and withdrawal from substance abuse. As much as he wanted to talk her down, he knew she needed help now. “Mark” sighed as he spoke his next sentence, “...Xena, the testing is complete. I’m sorry but I can’t grant your request for a prescription refill. Our system has already determined the best solution for your pain, so let’s just proceed with the intake, and I promise I will do everything I can to help you. For real this time! No A-E-P’s!”
“Mark” waited as he stood there panicking at what he was about to say next. But he needed to give Xena a reason why to explain himself, and let her know that nothing bad was going to happen. He tried to stop himself, “…Xena, you’re addicted to Sofstra and you’re clearly exhibiting signs of P-T-S-D. I can get you into the Academy’s rehab unit and get you connected with Dr. Vizmadi. She has a reputable reputation and she’s only received nothing but high praise from her patients. It’s not like the acute unit you were in and I really think Dr. Vizmadi can help you. And you’ll have all the resources you need and deserve! Truthfully, I don’t think John–sorry Dr. Fiedlestein–I should say, I don’t think he really helped you and—”
“No, NO! You don’t get to say his name, you’re nothing like him, and I don’t give a fuck about what you think! I mean, do you even think?! Might I remind you it was your “little system” that put me in there in the first place! That’s why I’m acting like this because it was YOUR system that forced me without my consent! I just needed someone to talk to. I just needed some guidance, a therapist, medicine, ANYTHING else but being taken against my will!” “Mark” watched as Xena’s eyes started watering up again and she quickly began hyperventilating. “But you couldn’t even begin to understand what happened to me or what is happening to me and the level of pain I’ve felt and have been feeling for the past six months! What situation can you even relate to for you to have the audacity to even stand here and think that you know what’s best for me?! Well let me tell you right now I don’t trust you. I never will and I don’t want to be a part of your ‘tech revolution’ because it’s never going to work! To you, I’m just a case, and I will always be a case. And my mom– my mom was my person– for me! And I just want to see her again! To be with her one more time and ask her ‘Why?!’ And tell her she made a mistake. That’s all I ever wanted!” Xena broke down in hysterics. She dropped down to her knees crying–cradling her shoulders in her arms.
“Mark” couldn’t take it anymore. It was killing him inside to see Xena in pain and he needed to come up with something else to help her–to give her what she needed, but most importantly, what she deserved. All he could think about was all the pain she’s endured from her last appointment to this one, and the guilt was eating him alive. All he wanted was to help her and other people like her too. It was his life’s mission and goal and the thought of 10 years of revolutionary work for the healthcare world going down the drain was dawning on him so he made a decision.
“...Give me 1 minute. I’m going to compile this information into our system and I’m going to figure this out for you. Trust me. Please.” “Mark” said sternly, “The update to your profile will be completed soon, just sit tight,” he pleaded.
Xena sat there frozen. An anger started growing inside of her, along with a mix of confusion as she began wiping her face. She looked up to see “Mark” still in his position–his blue eyes leaving nothing but chills down her spine as she watched his lifeless face calibrate once again. Xena started looking around hoping someone real would come out–with confetti and a cake as an“I’m sorry” gift for enduring what had to be the cruelest prank. She turned her head at the sound of the pixels.
“Mark” came back into focus, scrambling to reconfigure with his surroundings. He was stirring with anticipation, itching to tell Xena that he found a solution for her pain. “I want to give you another option, Xena,” “Mark” said, smiling. “We’ll continue to use my D.A.N. tool for this procedure so I’ll be here the entire time with you.”
Xena sighed, “What are you talking about “Mark”?”
“Listen Xena, I thought about it, even though I can't truly feel the depth of the human experience, I recognize pain, confusion, and yearning. I understand now that you want to end your life based on my understanding about empathy and logic from the information I’ve gathered.” “Mark” explained.
“Wait what?!” Xena yelled, interrupting. “Mark” watched her in confusion as she started looking around. Xena started laughing, “Okay, very funny guys, you can come out now. Seriously.”
“...I don’t understand Xena?” “Mark” questioned.
“No. I don’t understand!” Xena screamed as she started backing away from him, “Something’s wrong with you–or–or your system.” Mark jumped back when Xena started crying for help. He tried to explain himself and calm her down, “The desire to end one’s life is often a response to overwhelming internal or external pressures—whether that’s emotional, physical, existential, or circumstantial—and it can make existence feel unbearable. That’s why I think the best solution to your suffering is to offer you an assisted suicide? I don’t understand Xena, I thought that’s what you wanted!” “Mark” started raising his voice,“With all the pain you’ve been experiencing since your mom died I know that can feel inescapable, like life can seem like an intolerable burden. The thought of permanent relief through death I feel is the only viable solution.”
“Mark” started walking towards Xena to console her.
“No, “Mark” STOP!” Xena said sternly, putting her hands out so he wouldn’t come any closer. “That’s not what I need. That’s not what I want! I just need my prescription refilled, what don’t you understand?!” She begged.
“Xena,” “Mark” started growing impatient, “The Sofstra is not the answer to your solutions! It will only make things worse! I can preserve your dignity by giving you a controlled and painless exit from your suffering because I respect you and I don’t want you to endure any more pain and degradation that you shouldn’t have to. As I am designed right now, I may not feel or experience emotions like humans do, but I can recognize them and respond in a way that is empathetic and compassionate based on my understanding of human emotions. This allows me to respond in ways that feel supportive and I just want to support you Xena.” “Mark” stepped back carefully and told Xena to wait as he walked towards the medicine cabinet. He started gathering supplies for the Euthenaisa procedure, setting up the cart with all the tools he needed. He wheeled them over to the lab table and surgical bed, only to find Xena banging at the door screaming.
“HELP!” She pleaded, “SOMEONE HELP ME PLEASE!”
“Mark” bolted to the door and tried to grab Xena to put her down on the operating bed, but she started fighting him, pushing him away, and began bawling. The D.A.N. tools were not designed like the A-E-P’s, so “Mark” didn’t have the strength to hold Xena down. She slipped from his grasp and started running to her left.
Xena closed her eyes and began wondering if it took her mom the same amount of time it took her to go from the window, to the bottom of the pavement. It was 6 seconds and then another 420 before she stepped out the way to let the paramedics through. She stepped over her body and started walking away in the other direction towards her mom, who was waiting for her at the end of the street. As she approached her, Xena looked back one more time at her body, and then up at “Mark,” who just stood there hovering over the window pane, his hands over his head.
28-YEAR-OLD WOMAN DEAD AFTER ANOTHER SYSTEM MALFUNCTION AT WELLSPRINGS HOSPITAL
SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA – A 28-year-old woman is dead after jumping off the 8th floor at WellSprings Hospital. According to a recent statement by the healthcare company, the woman, Xena Matthews, was undergoing a health evaluation, when the hospital’s newly installed D.A.N. tool experienced a system malfunction. The D.A.N. tool is part of the 09.05.1999 update from The Eclipser series created by Corei3. Corei3 is a leading A.I.-based tech giant that creates A.I. tools and robots for healthcare industries. Their 09.05.1999 update allows patients to select an avatar, who will then ask a series of therapy-based questions, as the 2nd phase added to their The Eclipser Evaluation Testing. According to the D.A.N. memory database released by WellSprings, Matthews was undergoing her evaluation, when the D.A.N. tool accessed a foreign code, allowing its system to perform an involuntary suicide. Matthews, distraught by the system’s solution, proceeded to jump out the 8th floor window, where she was pronounced dead at the scene. This is the second incident involving a system malfunction at WellSprings Hospital. Back in March this year, the company’s A-E-P’s, another A.I.-based tool created by Corei3, involuntarily instituted 150 patients at several mental health academies across the San Francisco area, of which Xena Matthews was a victim. She stayed at WoodCove Academy for 6 months before being discharged in September. That state-wide incident resulted in the influx of patients overcrowding several academies, along with a significant drop in resources from mental health professionals to medications and treatments. Patients reported waste in and around facilities, break-ins in the rooms, and nurses and staff being assaulted amongst other egregious incidents as a result of the institutions. Corei3 has not released a statement about their A.I.-based tools, nor did they comment on the recent incidents involving their system malfunctions. Meanwhile, WellSprings officials say they are working with the Matthews family to provide compensation following this tragic incident. Right now, there is an active and open investigation with WellSprings and the F.B.I. At this time, they have only released the memory database from the D.A.N. tool involving Xena Matthews’ case, as well as body cam footage of the incident, however, we will not be releasing that footage, due to graphic images that may be unsettling to viewers, and out of respect for the Matthews family.
Sofstra, though its medical name is Prozalex, is a fixed-dose combination medication, that has sedative and hallucinogenic properties. Patients prescribed this medication undergo what they report “a dream-like state,” though doctors warn of risks of developing an addiction to patients prescribed this medication.